I was talking with a friend who had a great suggestion. He wanted to post a list of questions to the candidates here on The Wentzvillian that might be fodder for thought at "Candidates Night." After thinking about his suggestion for just a few minutes, I had to agree. Unfortunately, the Chamber of Commerce "Candidates Night," has never put candidates on the spot with hard questions. You know, the ones that get too near the truth. Let's see how this works:
1. Name one piece of original legislation you brought forth to be codified?
2. What do you believe to be your greatest accomplishment in your political career? Being elected doesn't count.
3. Can you read a balance sheet?
4. Do you believe the practice of an elected official recruiting candidates to be ethical?
5. Have you or your campaign ever filed an unfounded ethics violation against an opponent, if so, why?
6. What qualifications do you have to manage 180 employees and a city with a budget of over $80 million dollars?
7. Why do you want to be elected?
8. What would you fix in the City" Assuming something is busted.
9. What would you fix in the City? That isn't busted.
10. Is this a stepping-stone to higher political aspirations?
There's ten questions right off the top of my head, and now in this parody I'm taking the liberty to answer for the Mayor candidates; Bill Schuette and Nick Guccione.
1. (Schuette) I was close once when I tried to get the city to shovel the snow from certain peoples' driveways: (Guccione) Was I supposed to do that?
2. (Schuette) Learning that trying to get the city to shovel snow from certain peoples' driveways was against state statutes: (Guccione) Feeling important.
3. (Schuette) Is that the specification for carburetor float levels?; (Guccione) No, Yes, I mean No! Yes it's definitely No today.
4. (Schuette) It depends.; (Guccione) Of course, how else can I get the other Aldermen to talk to me?
5. (Schuette) part a-Yes. b.-I like screwing with people.; (Guccione) part a.-Yes. part b.-Donna Sherwood did it, If I'd known about it, I would have told her not to do it.
6. (Schuette) Because I want to.; (Guccione) Have you seen my home, it's beautiful!.
7. (Schuette) Because I like to dress up and party a lot.; (Guccione) This is the break I've been waiting for.
8. (Schuette) I've never had an office before but the Mayor's office in city hall isn't as cool as Chief Harrisons, so when I get elected we're switching.; (Guccione) Do I get a secretary?
9. (Schuette) If it ain't busted, I can fix that.; (Guccione) I will strive to get Mike Carter re-elected to our court, I don't think he got a fair shake last time. I have changed my mind and am for him now.
10. (Schuette) Well, if I get elected and I like it, then yeah why not.; (Guccione) This is small-time, I want to brush shoulders with Claire McCaskil, Al Franken, and Joe Biden. I did pick a winner when I voted for Barack Obama, I think that qualifies me to aspire to loftier positions!
I'd like to see some questions from my readers, post them here and make sure you go to the Candidates Night event to ask the candidates.
On the campaign trail: Here's a news flash: As we all know, Guccione is a great whiner and complainer, as noted in the February 8th board meeting when he whined; "People are moving my signs, I have them on tape." Horse pucky, tell us another one. I know the games Guccione and Sherwood play, they use the "poor me" crap in an effort to appeal to those who would feel sorry for them. They've even gone so far as doing minor damage to their own homes and blaming political opponents trying to get the "poor me" vote.
Well this week they got caught red-handed by one of Gucciones opponents. It seems that his crews are following other candidates into various subdivisions and removing their literature from citizens doors. I had forgotten about that bit of sneaky crap they pull. When confronted by Darrel Lackey about it Guccione said; "I didn't know anything about that." He didn't deny they were doing it he merely said he didn't know they were doing it. Meadow muffins! Nick, you ordered it and condoned it. C'mon, do you really think that anyone is really going to believe that you and Sherwood don't use that silly shit stunt regularly? Anytime you hear them complain about something it's because they're already doing it to others candidates. It's like I've always said, Guccione and Sherwood can't win on their merits, or rather their lack of.
A warning to anyone opposing Guccione or Sherwood: When you walk the streets of Ward 2, or anywhere in the city, keep an eye over your shoulder, Nick and Donna are more than likely watching to take your literature.